The Heart Behind Your Obedience: Choosing Relationship Over Rules
During his senior year of high school, Pastor Ben Blevins and a friend realized they could skip class all day by simply showing up for every single club yearbook photo. They spent the entire day standing in pictures for groups they did not belong to, including the Spanish Club and the All Girls Club. They simply wanted to be seen in the picture without participating in the actual mission of the clubs.
Eventually, the school administration caught on and blacked them out of the photos with a Sharpie. When the vice principal asked why Ben did not offer the full truth earlier, his response was incredibly simple: "You didn't ask". He knew exactly what the administration was trying to ask him, but he did not want to offer the information. He wanted to give the appearance of doing the right things without actually having to do them.
The Trap of Rules Without Relationship
It is easy to bring this exact same attitude into your relationship with God. In Matthew 23, Jesus confronts the religious leaders for doing this very thing. He points out that the Pharisees portray an ultimate relationship with God by following all of the rules, but they are just pretending.
Jesus warns them that they cross land and sea to gain a single convert, but because they only introduce rules without a real relationship, they leave that person worse off than before. There is nothing worse than being lost and not knowing it because you stop seeking to be found. They brought people into a set of rules they could follow well, but there was absolutely no relationship behind it.
When Rules Define the Relationship
This happens because the Pharisees fell into a human trap that is very common today. People often define relationships by rules. Think about your job. The rules define the relationship, so if you stop doing your job for a week or two, you get fired. When the rules are broken, there is no obligation to continue the relationship.
If a Roman master had a slave who worked incredibly hard, they still did not have a relationship. If that slave got hurt and could no longer fulfill the rules, the master had no obligation to take care of him. When rules define the relationship, a broken rule means the relationship is over.
When Relationship Defines the Rules
But God operates entirely differently. He desires a connection where the relationship defines the rules. In the Old Testament, God called Israel his Am Segula, which means a chosen people selected to represent him in the world like an ambassador. He gave them rules to help them live out that specific calling so others would be drawn to him. When a relationship defines the rules, a broken rule does not end the connection. Instead, you figure out a way to reconcile because you want the relationship to continue.
You can see this clearly in the story of Mount Sinai. God and Israel both understood that this moment was like a marriage. But while Moses was getting the tablets with the rules, the people were at the bottom of the mountain having an affair during the wedding. Moses understood relationships defined by rules, so he smashed the tablets because the rules were broken.
But God told him to make a new set. God wanted a relationship with his people so badly that he made a way for restoration even when they broke the covenant on their wedding day. He wanted the relationship to continue, so he provided reconciliation.
Removing What Gets in the Way
God wants you to remove the things in your life that get in the way of your relationship with him. He does not ask you to remove these things simply because they break a set of arbitrary rules. He asks you to remove them because they keep you from the relationship he really wants to have with you.
Valuing the Connection
God values the relationship with you so much more than he values the rules. He wants you to live well so that the relationship is good, but his ultimate desire is for the relationship to continue. This is why Jesus went to the cross. At your farthest moment from God, Jesus gave himself so you could step back into a relationship with him. The rules matter because they define how you live so others can see God, but the relationship is the entire point. God is willing to make a way for you to come back to him.
Taking It Into Tuesday
This week, take some time to evaluate how you communicate with God and the people around you. Reflect on whether you are playing games with the truth or actively pursuing a healthy connection. Use these questions to guide your thoughts:
Are you giving the appearance of doing the right things without actually having to do them?
Are your relationships defined by rules, or is the relationship defining your rules?
What things do you need to remove because they are getting in the way of your connection with God?
How can you represent God this week so others are drawn to him?
You do not have to hide behind technicalities. You are invited into a real and living partnership with the Creator of the universe.
Step Through the Door at Real Life on the Palouse
Actually participating in the kingdom is more than just reading a blog post. It is about locking arms with the people around you to find real relationship.
If you want to experience what this relational community is all about, join a Sunday gathering at the Eastside Marketplace. The community meets at 9:00 AM and 11:00 AM. Come exactly as you are, grab a coffee, and discover a place where you do not have to have it all together to belong.
Every single week features an open invitation to the communion table. It is a physical reminder that the door is already open and the grace of God is available to you right now. You do not have to clean up your life or put on a religious performance to participate. You are welcome to simply walk into the room and join the family.